tues. 4/29/08

well, i may be falling out of love w/meditation. i've gotten to the point that it feels like a chore and i dread chores!!! however, i'm hanging in there. i completed a.m. meditation and a couple of asanas w/my son. that was nice... plan to go to yoga class this p.m. and meditate later too.

wed. 4/23/08 - mon. 4/28/08

okay, so obviously i've gotten out of my routine... yes, definately so.

wed. i meditated only once. i did so outside, but i fell asleep too early that night. my a.m. routine has changed and i've got to start getting up earlier

thurs. i meditated twice. once outside (which i love when i am able to do so) and the other at yoga class. i completed many asana's and was also encouraged to sign-up to teach a couple classes. i'm interested in this but very afraid as i don't feel i'm ready for this. i'll need to f/u w/the owners too, so we'll see...

fri. and sat. i meditated in the mornings, fri. i meditated twice and completed several asanas. sat. i only meditated once and completed 3 asanas.

sun. i meditated both a.m. and p.m. i love my p.m. meditations as it seems i can "go deeper" easier, maybe this is because i'm so close to dream state, i don't know... i also completed 3-5 asanas.

i meditated once this a.m. and completed 4 asanas. i plan to meditate tonight and do better w/documenting too!

okay, sorry so long...

tues. 4/22/08

i completed morning meditation, 1 asana and my intention is to attend yoga class this evening, as well as complete evening meditation. i'm looking forward to class tonight. my meditation was nice this morning, i'm finding i'm beginning to go longer if i don't have distractions. i do hear God speaking to me and enjoy the quite, subtle experience that is taking place...

mon. 4/21/08

okay, so, i'm kinda wondering when my amazing meditation experience is going to happen. i meditated twice today and completed 4-6 asanas. i enjoyed hearing other folks spectacular meditative experiences but i can't share in that as nothing spectacular has occurred. on an intellectual and spiritual level i know this is quite fine and i can be okay with this but, oh well, i guess it's ego so, no need to feed it. okay, well, there it is, i'm done. i'll continue in my daily practice with as little ego as possible about benefits and results. actually i'm reeping the "subtle" benefits and as i've learned so far in life, that's typically the most rewarding type of benefit as it is truly allowing time for real life change...

sun. 4/20/08

today was nice, both meditations, plus prayer and meditation at church. lot's of focus on God and family today... i'm still waiting on the green light from my body for more that one asana!

sat. 4/19/08

i only meditated once today. i had a great morning meditation but fell asleep before evening meditation. i only completed one asana, still waiting to be done w/the break...

fri. 4/18/08

i meditated both times today and completed 1 asana. i'm a little concerned as my "5 day" break is longer than normal... should be ready for a class by beginning of the week, i hope...

thurs. 4/17/08

morning meditation was very nice today. i completed just a couple of asanas and intend to do p.m. meditation tonight or this evening. it's a beautiful day, i may just have to go outside again!

wed. 4/16/08

so, i meditated outside today... it was sooo awesome. i've always been hesitant because for some odd reason i've had a fear of being seen meditating. why? i mean it's not like i'm doing something wrong. oh well, i did it and loved and will have to try again! i completed just a couple of asana's today.

tues. 4/15/08

yikes, tax day! so we could all use some meditating today, yes? anyway, i meditated and completed 5 asanas. no yoga tonight as it's the five day time...

mon. 4/14/08

very lazy today as i only did 1 asana and meditated once... i'll do better i promise!

sun. 4/13/08

whew, so glad to be home... i'm so tired from all the asanas. i didn't realize how wrong i was doing some of them. meditated twice today.

sat. 4/12/08

on retreat w/ class... lots of asanas and meditation twice. wonderful campfire!! felt very close to everyone.

fri. 4/11/08

i meditated this a.m. and plan to practice some more poses in prep for the weekend... curious to see what unfolds!

thurs. 4/10/08

i meditated twice today but not at the normal times as my son and i enjoyed a day w/friends at south mtn. park. it was very hard to get these in but i'm glad i did!

wed. 4/9/08

i meditated in the a.m. and completed approx. 12+ asanas practicing from the teacher's manual/readings. i fell asleep before meditating in p.m.

tues. 4/8/08

i meditated twice today and completed 4-5 asanas... very dreary day so made it easier to meditate.

mon. 4/7/08

i awoke (w/the help of my alarm) at my new waking time and joyfully completed devotional, 4-5 asana's, and a.m. meditation. i did have some monkey mind going, as well as some sneezing and issues w/posture, however i reacted very patiently and gently w/myself and was able to ground and release. today is the first day of a couple small adjustments to my routine that will hopefully result in greater ease w/meditation, asana's, and well, whatever life offers! my intention is to complete p.m. meditation tonight prior to bed, i truly think it's going to happen!

sun. 4/6/08

well, no a.m. meditation today... some fiesty, sassy gunk got inside of me and i was not a happy camper! i've been struggling w/the aftermath of my decision of choosing ethics/morals/hope over what the world falsely advertises as security, i.e. the nice paying job, nice house, car, etc... i've always on some level been able to see through this facade but now am fully engaged in the removal of myself and my family in participating in this system. this has been the case for 3 months now, so i guess it's natural that the honeymoon of living authentically is wearing off. i said some very nasty things to jon, when i should have been praying and meditating, however that would've required too much surrender!;-) luckily, i was fairly quickly able to mend my wrongful ways, surrendering to God and jon and both quickly forgave. fortunately this resulted in a step towards a new level of surrender for us all and mutual support and admiration of each other and what we are trying to shed. i did complete p.m. meditation w/great ease and 2 asanas.

sat. 4/5/08

i completed a.m. meditation which was wonderful. i went longer than normal and really felt that i received a message from God to rest. so often i want to do, do, do, as i am a do-er by nature. i often feel less than as a person if i'm not doing. God gently reminded me that He is ultimately the Do-er, no matter how much i think i'm doing, and that i am to rest in Him. i also did as short meditation w/my 3 year old upon his request. he did very well. i completed 2 asana's but plan to complete more while practicing the standard class and will complete meditation later today.

fri. 4/4/08

well, i only completed one session of meditation today. it was a.m. meditation as i fell asleep on the couch last night and didn't complete my meditation prior to bed. i do miss that when i don't do it, luckily, it's a new day tomorrow... i completed 2 asanas today.

thurs. 4/3/08

i completed a.m. meditation and had a very emotional response. today was a sad day today. some of it i know is because of the rainy, dreary weather but some of it is also i know the result of the regular meditation/asana practice as it is bringing so much to my consciousness that i thought i had already dealt with and was over. a lot of self doubt and worthlessnes feelings, which results in absolute humility to God during and upon meditation. i also went to yoga today where we also did a meditation and i was able to share my progress from my individual practice. it was so interesting how people thought 10 minutes 2 x day was sooo much. i remember when that seemed so much to me also. sometimes it still does when i'm trying to find the time on a busy day, but in general, i see where i could go much longer if i can find more time.

wed. 4/2/08

i completed both a.m. and p.m. meditations today. i also had the opportunity to speak w/my friend about the benefits i'm experiencing from regular meditation, i.e. calmness, resoluteness, security, contentment, awakening, and humility. i completed 3 asanas today.

tues. 4/1/08

i completed both a.m. and p.m. meditations. it came much easier today than the last couple of days. i also completed about 4-6 asanas. it felt nice to make a step further into my new routine...