sun. 4/6/08

well, no a.m. meditation today... some fiesty, sassy gunk got inside of me and i was not a happy camper! i've been struggling w/the aftermath of my decision of choosing ethics/morals/hope over what the world falsely advertises as security, i.e. the nice paying job, nice house, car, etc... i've always on some level been able to see through this facade but now am fully engaged in the removal of myself and my family in participating in this system. this has been the case for 3 months now, so i guess it's natural that the honeymoon of living authentically is wearing off. i said some very nasty things to jon, when i should have been praying and meditating, however that would've required too much surrender!;-) luckily, i was fairly quickly able to mend my wrongful ways, surrendering to God and jon and both quickly forgave. fortunately this resulted in a step towards a new level of surrender for us all and mutual support and admiration of each other and what we are trying to shed. i did complete p.m. meditation w/great ease and 2 asanas.