tues. 7/22/08 - tues. 7/29/08

i've had a great week... we decided, well actually i decided, that we needed a little beach getaway on the spur of the moment. jon was off fri. and i have a b-day this fri. and we'd been talking about what we wanted to do. all the old ideas just didn't seem appealling... i was considering doing a seemingly interesting continuing ed. on individuation (jung) but i think the money was better spent on all of us for a little getaway. indeed it was just what we needed! however i did lapse 2 times on my meditation, as i fell asleep prior to doing this. of the other times i did meditate, i did have a wonderful experience meditating on the beach. asanas we're completed also, all throughout the days just to help keep everything moving while traveling. we're all doing asanas these days, last wed. night we all completed asanas and i did shavasana massage w/my husband and son. it was very nice. still feeling like i'm wading through some muck but putting more and more energy into not being so hard on myself. i need to remember my original intention of this whole training, it wasn't to be a yoga teacher or a yogi or any of those things but to develop greater personal care skills. for me, caring for myself doesn't need to be forced or someone else's idea of what that means but what it means for God and i and my awesome loved ones. shedding ideas of what "should" be and what "is" is enough work in and of itself for me. when i think about that everything else almost just seems silly. the other stuff will happen if it is to be... i can't be tied to my idea of the outcomes, they're never as good anyway;-) i don't know where all of this is leading but i have to keep my faith, as i have no reason to doubt it and i only get into more trouble when i do and try to "make" things happen. relying on faith and surrendering is so wonderful but a constant practice. i'm thankful to be learning...